Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Not my will, but yours be done.

As most of you know Matt and I have had some infertility problems. After many tests over the past few months, I just had an appointment with our Fertility Doctor (Dr. Valerie Ratts), whom I really liked. Anyway, I am now taking Clomid (a fertility medicine to help me ovulate). When I walked into work this morning I was given this article about other Christians who have infertility problems too. This was obviously providential (that I was given this article) because I was upset last night about not being a Mom yet. This article opened up my eyes to what the Lord desires for me. One part of the article said to be angry at God is a normal thing. And to ask him, Why me? is normal too. But the article also encouraged that rather than searching for answers to why you can not get pregnant, pray to God for help in coping and navigating this the best we can.

A lady in this article was talking about how she and her husband have been struggling for the past 6 years to have a baby and she says, "God does not desire for any couple to be infertile. When we suffer from infertility, God is grieving with us." What an encouragement this was to me this morning. It was eye opening to see that God is not against me in having a baby.

So while I sat at my desk this morning eating my grape-nuts cereal and banana my prayer had changed from, "Dear God please give us a baby" but to "Not my will, but yours be done."

9 comments:

Mandy said...

Sweet Emily! It is so great to see how God uses small things, like an article, to help lead our thought processes back to Him. It's tough waiting sometimes. But to know that our love and creator has good intentions towards us and walks with us through these times, is amazing. I pray for you. and can't wait to see what He has in store for you.
Much Love-

The Lloyds Five said...

Emily,
I do not know how to express it at times but I hurt for you, I have been tearful for your situation, and your circumstance. I know how seriously painful, it feels to struggle with infertility. It truly is a difficult thing. I have been praying for God's will for you and Matt. Know that you are resting in God.

Emily said...

Mandy and Beth, thanks SO much for your encouraging words! And thank you for praying! Love you both!

Nikki Sawyers said...

First, I think this is my favorite incarnation of your blog. My vote is to keep it like this!

Second, I'm glad you can know and feel that God is for you in your trials. For me, it was strangely comforting to know that His very hand was on my womb preventing me from conceiving rather than some random fluke that God coudn't control. But He is intimately involved with every minute detail of your life, and in His time He will open your womb. I will pray to that end!

april b said...

I love the new look of your blog!

My heart is sad with you. I am grateful that the Lord is showing you his presence and grace through his people.

I am praying for you friend.

Emily said...

I appreciate all your sweet comments my dear friends! Thank you all for your prayers! Thanks April, Nikki, Mandy and Beth!

Ben and Anna said...

Emily, thanks for your honesty. It is not easy to be honest and vulnerable--especially when it shows your frustration towards God. Your words are a beautiful testament to God's work in your heart. He is obviously molding you and showing you his faithfulness in small precious ways that you don't expect. I am praying...

Tebbano Family said...

Thanks for sharing that Emily - we will be praying for you and Matt. It's so hard to be patient and truly believe that God has our greatest good in mind isn't it? Know that you are not alone in this struggle!

jo- elle said...

"Tout vient à temps pour qui sait attendre" french saying

"Every thing is coming if you KNOW to WAIT FOR about it"